Fun Facts about Flour

Leslie,

So the other night I was cleaning up after dinner.  Baker and Cousin were sitting at the dinner table, front row witnesses to me dropping the flour canister.  Which I had just refilled the night before.  And over-tightened the lid, so it wasn't actually sealed.  In short, I had half a bag of flour all over my kitchen floor.  And my counter tops.  And in the grooves of the cabinets.  And in my hair and on my feet.

You know those times when you're so surprised at your surroundings, that you get the giggles?  Yeah, that happened.  I just stood there, laughing, as flour snowed down around me.  And I kept laughing.  The dust settled, and I was still laughing.  It was getting weird.  Baker recognized the signs that I was in shock, so he prompted me.  "Maybe you should clean that up, Crystal."  I told him I didn't know how to clean it up, and Baker suggested the vacuum.  Which made me laugh.

But, you know, I was at a loss so I just followed Baker's instructions and began vacuuming up the flour.  Then, barely audible over the whooshing vacuum, I heard this conversation.

Cousin:  Hey, so, isn't flour extra flammable?
Baker:  Yep.  ...  Crystal.  CRYSTAL!  Turn off the vacuum before you catch fire!

Gahhhh, what?!  Baker explained that one tiny spark of electricity and the whole vacuum could explode.  I was inadvertently conducting a high school-boy-type experiment in my kitchen.  I sent Baker and Cousin into the other room so I could clean the kitchen the old-fashioned way (broom, mop) and they spent the rest of the night youtube-ing flour explosions.  Hilarious.

Still cleaning the kitchen, Crystal

Laundry Days Are Here Again

Hi Cryz,

I did SO much laundry yesterday, I hate doing laundry and subsequently wait till I am down to my last clean anything to force me into the buildings basement for laundry time.  This makes laundry even worse because I have so much of it.  

The only thing I look forward to is the social license I am given to wear crazy ensembles and be as comfortable as I can handle...and I can handle a lot. 

  

This is the little number I wore yesterday, I was going to write about how weird I looked in it and how I would never normally wear this...but the more I look at this outfit the more I LOVE IT!!!  It's awesome!  but maybe I am still drunk off laundry detergent and fabric softener.  What do you think?

Feeling spring time fresh,

Leslie

{ . }

Leslie, You had to ask for it...

Devoted reader and commenter Gail (check her out here) found us a phenomenal SUPER PLUS picture.  I can't decide whether to be grossed out, or flattered.  Maybe a little bitta both.  Abbie, maybe you should keep this in mind next time you head to Coney Island.

Hope you're all having a super-absorbent night!  Love, Crystal

What Time Is It?

It's Shout out TIME!!!!  This goes out to my friend Deb!  Check out her blog HERE!

Look at this awesome Super Plus picture she found for us! We Love you Deb!

But it's not over yet, Sarah is also Amazing!  Check out her blog HERE and come back and look at this Super Plus washing machine setting!!!!

WOW...Right?!  These two ladies have three things in common. 1.) Super Plus cute kids.  2.) Sass.  And  3.) Crystal and Leslie LOVE them for sending in these pics!

If any of our readers run across any more super plus-ing out in the real world, let us know! We will give you a big thank you and Crystal will bake you banana bread. (if she is in the mood.) email them to talesofsuperplus@gmail.com 

Thanks again to Debster and Big Sister Sarah!

Dear Readers:

I don't find it necessary to elaborate, but...

This one time?  I helped Leslie put deodorant in her arm pits.

If that's not true friendship, I don't know what is.

Love, Crystal

The Captive

Lesl,

Have I told you that my cousin moved to Phoenix?  Well, my cousin moved to Phoenix.  And I LOVE it.  He'd come here job-searching several times in the past year, and we always had a blast.  I felt like I was 9 years old and if we were good, our moms might let us eat dinner in front of the TV and then sleep outside on the trampoline.

And the fun has not worn off since he permanently settled here.  At least, it hasn't worn off for me.  Cousin and I hang out on his days off from work, and he comes over for dinner every Sunday.  And I know he's going to keep coming because eating at my house is better than eating at home.  Alone.  Bachelor-style.  And yet, every Sunday night I get the feeling he's ready to leave before I'm ready for him to go.  He sits up straight, stretches, and says something about "getting up early" the next morning.

As if.

Then just when he's about to head to the door, I start small-talking him.  I beg for family gossip.  I fill him in on the expected weather patterns for this time of year.  I ask for his best work stories (from the past two days, since last time I saw him.)  I make him promise to come back again.

Last week was bad.  Baker got in on the action, and as he was trying to leave, I made Baker show Cousin pictures of our cats.  Then videos of our cats.  Then we started telling Cousin how our friend Leslie made us go on an almost-blind date and that's how we fell in love, blah blah blah.  Cousin was dying to go, I could tell.  But he is polite and wants un-bachelor dinner next week too, and so he stayed and listened.

I feel bad about all this and I want to stop killing Cousin with chit-chat.  I'm trying to tell myself that it's because I like him, he's family, and I'm excited we finally live in the same place.  But really?  I think I just love a captive audience.

Currently holding hostages in my living room, Crystal

Hi, my name is Abbie and I might be a...

Leslie. Crystal.

I have bad news. Bad, bad, terrible, the worst news. Bad.

I just found out something about myself. I found out...that...I...might...be...a...PESSIMIST!!

HOW CAN THIS BE?!?! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HAPPY!! WHY ME?!?! I'M SUCH A HAPPY PERSON!!!

I know. I know. I KNOW.

(I've also been called dramatic, but I do NOT believe that. I am NOT dramatic.)

Can I tell you how I found out? Well, I was chatting with a friend (I won't tell you who. Hint: her name rhymes with BLeslie.) and she was talking about pessimism and I thought to myself, self, aren't you glad you are such an optimist?

But evidence reared it's ugly head in a situation the next day.

Coney Island. Coney Island is so fun! It's so great! I loved every second of our visit (minus the glass in the sand). But would you know that the night before we went I was planning all sorts of terrible things that were going to happen to us? Like...

• we were going to take the wrong train.
• we were going to take too much stuff.
• we weren't going to bring enough stuff.
• we weren't going to get a seat on the train because it was going to be so crowded and have to stand for an hour and a half.
• our kids were going to get crushed by the hot dog eating contest crowd.
• someone was going to force me to eat a hot dog.
  
• we weren't going to get a swinging seat on the Wonderwheel.
• it was going to be too hot.
• the kids were going to be too whiny.
• we were going to contract an STD from the beach.
• my husband was going to get eaten by a shark and leave me to raise our children alone.
• my pictures were going to be horrible.
• and I was probably going to start my period and not have a tampon.
  

You get the picture. It was obviously going to be the worst day of our entire lives.
But.
It turned out to be a SUPER PLUS fun day.

But tomorrow, tomorrow is going to be the worst! I have a million errands to run and my car is definitely going to get stolen or break down. And the kids are going to throw a fit because I won't buy them candy. And I'll forget to buy everything I need. And I'll probably start my period and not have a tampon.

Ugh.

Skeletons In My Play List

Last week I was on the train and I saw a guy I kind sorta knew.  This was our conversation.
    
     Leslie: Hi!

     Cool Guy: Oh, Hi!

     Leslie and Guy: share in semi-uncomfortable strained chit chat, both calculating the number of stops still on the commute home. 

    Cool Guy: You don't have to stop listening to your music, cause I'm here.

     Leslie: Oh thanks, I'll just get back to Taylor Swift!

Cryz! I have cooler music thanSwifty. I only have ONE of her songs.  Just one!  I hardly even listen to it.  I could have said all sorts of other bands and singers I even have ready impress people.

For example, Bloc Party to impress general rockers, Tom Petty to impress people like my dad., Tegan and Sara to impress my indie fans and my sister, The Format to impress you.  etc. etc.... I have it all laid out.  I have it ready.  But the moment I really needed it I blurt "Taylor Swift."

Other bands/singers I keep hidden, Miley Cyrus, Secondhand Serenade, and my favorite secret singer DEMI LOVATO!!!!  You are going to hate the fact that I attached her new video, but, just remember how I am REALLY vulnerable right now sharing all my music secrets with you.  I just need love!  And for you to lie and say you like this song.  Oh and that I'm not the only one with skeletons in my play list.

Toe Head

Hi Crystal,

I recently realized that I worry a lot about the end of the world.  One of my most recent worries has surfaced since I  colored my hair blonde.  It's just SO blonde and if the world ended today my hair would start growing out and I would look super plus crazy! 

At the time of Armageddon I'm not going to be that worried about my hair, I do have priorities. I'll want to know my cats are safe and I'll probably save an old lady from a car hurdling towards her face.  I'm super sure I will be on the lookout for an underground bunker. BUT...I have to think about the months that follow.  The few people who survive have to come together to revive humanity and those people are going to look for any excuse to undermine me.  That's because those first few months are pivitol!  New leadership is going to be formed, alliances made, and jobs assigned.  Who is going to want the girl with the lame hair?  Who will want me as their underground queen? 

How dare those jerks judge me!  I'm going to go get a box of hair supply for my year supply.

See you around!

Leslie

Things On The Subway

Hi Cryz

An elderly woman pushing around a cart full of garbage.  If anyone else on the train stood next to her she would start screaming gibberish until the unfortunate close stander turned into a far away stander.

Woman sitting next to me complaining about the yelling crazy lady but was just as bad because she was super loud and wouldn't stop talking.

A man with the most beautiful hear I had ever seen.

A man with a rat tail!  I haven't seen one of those in so long!  It is still gross in case you are wondering.

Bunch of cute kids all wearing the same blue t-shirts, I think they were part of the YMCA or something.  It actually freaked me out.  Too many of anything is freaky...like, one lady bug is nice.  100 ladybugs is a nightmare!

Garbage

A woman who looked SO tired hauling her two tiny children in a giant stroller.  I always want to help these mom's but I usually just feel bad about it.  Would they really want a stranger to help with their kids?  You tell me. 


Your Underground Super Plus,

Leslie

A/C B.S.

Leslie -

Something happened tonight and I may or may not have overreacted.  Baker hired this air conditioning expert.  You know our house is old-old-old, so Bakes thought it would be wise to get that ever-important appliance checked out.  The good news is, everything's working fine with our a/c.  The bad news is, I loathed the expert-dude.  Now maybe I was in a bad mood, or maybe he was using cheap salesman tricks, but everything he said and did struck me wrong.

What I heard:  If you give your daughter water from a plastic bottle, she's going to grow gills and a third nipple.

What Dude probably, actually said:  In addition to air systems, we sell and install reverse osmosis systems, if you are interested in bottle-free water products.

I heard:  America's lame, let's all move to Canada.

Dude probably said:  Don't take my word for it, but feel free to research non-government studies.

I heard:  Your house is a big pile of junk.  The three little pigs could build better houses than this.

Dude probably said:  Houses built in the '50s often lack modern-standard insulation.

As Dude left our house, he nodded to me and said, "I'll be back to rob your house in a few weeks."  (Or maybe, "Nice to meet you, ma'am."  Whichever.)  I gave him a dirty look and a "Hmpfh."  This Dude - what a jerk, right?

Always sunny, Crystal

When I Grow Up

Hey CyrZZle,


When I was a little girl I had a dream of what I wanted to grown up and be.  Not a teacher, not a vet, and not a fireman.  I wanted to be a Country Music Video Girl or CMVG!


The music video girls were all SO pretty and the guys singing about them were SO in love and I've always been a fan of the melodrama.  As I studied from home in front of the mirror the different looks required by a CMVG, you know, pout, angry, slow laughing while spinning and throwing my hair back(that one’s tough). 

 Somewhere along the way I became a little more of a feminist and I realized, why be a CMVG when I could be a country singer?!  I had a cassette tape of Pam Tillis and I would put on my dad’s big leather jacket, role the sleeves up to my elbows (per the style) and stand out by the road singing my lungs out hoping a music producer would drive by, hear my voice, and “discover me.”  

A producer never did screech to a halt while driving past my home which, as you know, was in the middle of nowhere down a dirt road.  But I haven’t given up.  Now that I’m in NYC I think I should start again.  This city is teaming with music producers looking for their next big hit, Right?  And I've just bought a big leather jacket.

Above is my FAVORITE Pam Tillis song and video, enjoy.

Not Quite a Dirty Word

Hey Les,

Did you hear about this?  Phoenix was hit with an insane dust storm last night!  This type of storm only occurs in the Sahara Desert, some parts of the Middle East, and  --  Arizona.  I didn't know the storm was going on, and had to walk to my car in the middle of it.  I had dust in my eyes, nose, and teeth (among other places.)  This morning I found grit in poor Sally's bed.  I could have planted a garden in the dirt on our kitchen counters today.  It was crazy; I'd never seen anything like it before.

But, honestly?  The main reason I'm bringing this up...  This type of storm is called a "haboob."  Funny, right?  Haboob.

Love from your wind-swept friend, Crystal

No I in Leadership

Hi Crystal,

If life is a classroom I have always pictured myself sitting in the middle, not the back, and certainly not the very front.  It's really nice in the middle because you can listen and pay attention when you want but you can also goof off with the trouble makers in the back row.  

Last week I lead a group of friends into the Bronx for sushi. I almost had a panic attack when the city bus didn't show up for a super long time and we were traveling through a pretty rough part of town for raw fish.  WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!  

But, in the end it turned out great and I found out I am in love with Tempura.  mmm, tempura.  I think the moral of this story is, if sushi was the end result of leadership, I would probably do it a lot more often.  

Messy Me

Hey Leslie,

Earlier today, I was planning on writing you and telling you about the extra-clumsy thing I did today.  Have you ever had a cardboard paper cut?  It's pretty much the dumbest accident you can have, and I did it in a big way, trying to open a toothpaste box.  But I don't want to write about that any more, as this evening I have had several more (worse) accidents.  Including spilling maple syrup and scrambled eggs all over the kitchen floor, and dropping and then stepping on a pancake.

But all this, it's just indicative of who I am.  I'm the girl who falls in a hole while cars are waiting for her at the crosswalk.  I'm the girl who breaks her elbow while roller skating, and dislocates her knee while ice skating.  I'm the girl whose skirt falls off at work.

And then, I guess there are lots of worse things I could be, than clumsy.  Like a dog hater, or a grumpy old man who yells at little kids for scaring the park pigeons, or one of those people who doesn't like to have their picture taken.  I guess I'd rather lose my skirt and step on a few pancakes, than be the girl who mispronounces "forward."

Come on Ashley, it's FORward, not FO-ward

I Met This Guy

Chris North,  I was just walking down 5th and there he was.  On a normal day I would have just kept walking and just told everyone I saw him.  But, I was at work, and since he was Sex and The City royalty I felt compelled to see if I could get a picture with him for our website.  Ugh, It did not go well.  He REALLY didn't want to talk to me let alone take a picture.  I felt so dejected, by some guy that I don't even care about.

But the honest truth is I do care!  I care what famous people think of me.  I want to be one of them.  I want to go to their parties, shop at their stores, vacation where they vacation, and eat what they eat.  All of those things attract my eye.  They're bright, glittery and full of fun!  I'm like a crow that way and it's a very shallow part of me.

I wish I knew people who were famous for recycling, saving sea lions or helping orphans.  Really good people who work really hard and deserve to be followed down the street and asked for their picture....I bet they would take a picture with me.