Saturday, November 12, 2011

Look Familiar?

Flattery is the best form of imitation?

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Subway Gropers

So, there has been all these pervert gropers running amuck in the subway lately. While riding the train on Friday and I was looking around at everyone as a person who probably wanted to grab specific parts of my anatomy.  I felt suspicious, I hated everyone, and I was on high alert.

(These are the grossers)

Then I got off the train and hurried up the stairs…but I tripped!  I was falling and I couldn’t stop!  I was about to eat disgusting subway floor when a man reached out grabbed my arm and saved my life!  I was so grateful! I felt like it I was in one of those Hallmark movies where I discover the true meaning of life and I love and reach out to every stranger I meet…Scratch that.  I don’t know a stranger because I believe we are all brothers and sisters.

 Fast forward to my trip home, I am so excited to get on the train with all my new best friends living together in the city.  An older gentleman sits across from me and he starts up a conversation.  Old Leslie would have ignored him.  NEW Awesome Leslie was excited to get to know this wise old gentleman that probably had a lot to teach her.   

He was hard to understand, I figured this was because of his strong Italian accent, but then he said something a little racist, and then he said something SUPER racist!  And then I realized the smell I was smelling was alcohol and a lot of it.  UGH!!!!  And all the suspicion and hate came back, and my alert meter went right back up to the highest level.   

I don’t know what I was supposed to learn from this experience, maybe nothing; maybe it’s just the ebb and flow of the city.  Interacting with humanity continually is tough and often emotional; I guess that the best I can hope for is that it is a kind person next to me when I inevitably trip again.

If you see something, say something,

Thursday, November 3, 2011

You Should Have Asked Me...

That's right ABC, you should have come to me first before you decided to spend all of that time, energy and money on Charlie's Angels.

ABC: Leslie, we are thinking of bringing back Charlies Angels? what do you think?

Leslie: Pppfffhhh!!! No!  I don't think it went that well the first time around, interchanging the cast continually...and I don't remember the movies doing that great either. (I actually liked the first one, but I wouldn't share that because I am trying to make a point.)

If you don't know, The Charlie's Angel reboot was canceled last month after airing only a few episodes.  But, on the subway today there were still a zillion adds for the show.  This picture is only proof of one but trust me.

Leslie: Take those down are just embarrassing yourself.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I Get All My Talking Point

Usually from the Yahoo home page.  I read the stories featured here between avoiding homework and spying on Raf's email and I had to post this article because it is all about the position I am in these days.  Being childless can be awkward at times especially when all my favorite people have kids.   Yahoo pointed out some things we kid-less folk don't enjoy hearing or want our friends to understand about us.  I hope it can bring families of any size closer together in understanding.

10 Things Not To Say to Your Childfree Friends

1. "When will you finally have kids?"
Once you have offspring, you want your friends to share the experience. But please don't loudly ask this question across the table at Thanksgiving dinner or at a baby shower. Although many people are happy to be childfree or waiting, the situation may be more complicated. A friend could be facing infertility, in the agonizing position of having a spouse who doesn't want children, or otherwise in a complex struggle over the issue. Bring it up privately with close friends, or wait for them to share with you.

2. "We always wanted to have a family."
If you use the expression "have a family" to mean "have children," you inadvertently send a message that people without kids are... family-less. Family comes in many forms: significant others, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbors -- happily, the list goes on!

3. "I only invited other parents."
Having children is the norm, and people who are childfree can sometimes feel isolated or excluded. So invite us to birthday parties! Sure, there are some people who just don't like kids and have no desire to spend an afternoon surrounded by them. They can decline the invitation, and the rest of us will cheer when the birthday boy takes his first bite of cupcake.

4. "Are you hung-over?"
If you had kids when you were on the younger side, you may have transitioned abruptly from staying out bar-hopping to night feedings and Yo Gabba Gabba -- and years later, you may assume that we're still acting like our crazy twentysomething selves. But just because we don't have kids doesn't mean we aren't growing up.

5. "You're so lucky you get to sleep in/shop/travel."
We understand that you give up a lot to be the amazing parent you are -- and we do appreciate our extra cash and free time, and god, yes, the sleep. But too many offhand comments like this make us feel like you assume the reason we don't have children is that we're lazy, selfish, or shallow. The decision is never that simple.

6. "This must be birth control for you."
Parents often make this joke when their kid is being loud or persistent, and we understand it's because you're worried the situation is bugging the hell out of everyone around you. Don't stress -- a good friend understands that your kid is going to have a meltdown once in a while. We can take it. And, of course, a crying toddler is not actually a tipping point in our decision to have kids. We're not that shortsighted.

7. "Your dog/cat/parakeet is your baby."
Pets are a huge part of many people's lives, whether or not those people have children. But it feels like a consolation prize when you put it like this. That said, ask about my cat; I'm happy to pull up my latest photo of her adorableness.

8. "I can't die; I'm a mom."
During a recent brief terrorism scare in New York City, a friend said to me, "I have to get out -- I can't die; I'm a mom." We know you have someone depending on you in an unprecedented way, but there are people who love and depend on us, too.

9. "I'm sorry it's taken forever for me to call/email/text you back."
Don't start every correspondence with an apology. Your life is insane and letting us know you want to make time for us is appreciated. But don't stress so much: My life is busy too, and more often than not, I didn't even notice a lag.

10. "You wouldn't understand."
We know there are many things about parenting you will turn to your mom friends to talk about. And, honestly, with anyone other than a close friend, that's probably best -- I lose interest fast when someone I don't know well talks too much about their kids. But when we're real friends, don't let our relationship fade because you're afraid of boring us with parenting stuff. Just like we used to listen to you talk about your ex, we want to hear about what's important in your life now. And we hope you'll do the same for us.

I love your babies! 


Thursday, October 27, 2011


I'm not the only person that blog stalks and then feel terrible about myself right?  Is this an old conversation that has been discussed for so long that I don't hear about it anymore?  Or has everyone in the blogging world stepped up their life to the high expectations of perfection in love, family, and adventure? 

Its not just blogs or even facebook, its the whole Europian American time frame fixation of doing.  We must always be doing something, it's expected of each of us.  When we see someone we ask "What have you been up to?" or "How are you doing?"

In my mind, chunks of time go by in weekly intervals.  Every week I make sure I have some sort of doing prepared.  A tidbit of activity that I can offer up to the masses that want to compare and contrast my activities vs. his or hers.  

Did you know, In the Chinese culture time is looked at differently, while I look at a weekly calender a person in China is looking at the Year of The Rabbit.  Long term accomplishments are valued and there is no pressure to fill a day with a million things because a day is just a day and the larger goal of a well spent year is more important.

Probably moving to China,


Sunday, October 2, 2011

Near Death Experience

I went to sleep last night and felt as safe as you can while living in a NYC Apartment on the wrong side of the island.  I set all three locks on our door.  checked all the windows and i even looked under the bed.  I crawled into bed next to Rafael and fell asleep ready for sweet dreams.  Then like a shot of lightning a loud growl swept over me.  I sat up in alarm, an intruder was in the house.  I ran to the bathroom, leaving Raf to whatever fate would meet him there.  I shut the door behind me in the restroom and flicked on the lights.  I was not alone in the room, the intruder fallowed me in and there was no way to escape now.  For the next three hours I struggled to survive.  It was my will against the intruder and the intruder was winning.  

The truth is, I ate, and ate is not the word for it, gulped, inhaled, attacked a pizza!  After eating nothing but vegetables for two weeks my body went into war mode with the amount of cheese and bread I ate in a matter of minutes.  To avoid being too graphic lets just say I was multitasking the toilet and garbage can at the same time.  Eventually I fell asleep on the cold tiled floor until I woke up with my arm and the toes on my left foot still asleep a few hours later.

Why was I only eating vegetables?  Cause of a Documentary of course, check it out if you dare.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Trouble Duty

Woke up early to babysit this morning.  My friend's kid, and I don't mind doing it.  But let's just say I was less than thrilled when she told me he learned how to crawl.  Yesterday.  That means I have 2 crawlers to all to myself until 4:15.

And it's only 7:45.  And I've already run out of ways to entertain them.  And my house smells like poop.

Plus, this morning, I tried to put my bra on OVER my FEET.

We've got the makings of an awesome day here.

Heaven help me never to have twins, Crystal